Wildflowers

I imagine pushing her down and banging her head on the wall.The feeling of my fingers against her throat as she chokes.The pure rush after breathing in the metallic scent of blood on my own hands.Standing there feeling proud,accomplished even at my own handiwork.I imagine the desperation,the needy whimpers that come out of her mouth,pleading for me to stop but I continue doing the deed until her pulse weakens.And suddenly all of it stops.A heavy silence descends and I leave her among the daffodils to sleep in peace.

Heavy breathing surrounds me and I realize its mine.I have been having this dream ever since I came here.This place does bad things to my imagination.Here it runs wild even though we are surrounded by tall brick walls.I have a small window to my room.The view is an elm that has branches with velvety moss.I imagine a rope hanging there.A nice end with wind blowing you as long as you can ignore the walls.I used to have a roommate.Pretty little thing with big brown eyes.She chose the elm as an end.I was angry that I hadn’t though of it before.Then came the sobs and as the tears rolled down I could see everything covered in blood,my own.After that the orderlies strapped me to the electric chair.It hurt I suppose but I didn’t feel it after a while.There was this strange numbness that overtook me.

I want to know how it feels.The blood gushing down your wounds.I just can’t place myself feeling any pain but giving it to others. I was discovered strangling the neighbor’s bird.It was a peculiar sound, sort of gasp and then the silence. I was pleased but they caught me.Sent me here to the room with a view.They try to hurt me,control my impulses.They say it’s not incurable but I’ll be here for a while now.

They don’t know yet what happened to my sister.She is still lying there in the wild flowers next to the river I guess.They never found her,they never suspected me.They had a search carried out for months but with no result.I hope they find her one day.Decaying and rotting,gazing into the oblivion.

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