High

It is dark already as I step out of the house,there are no stars in the sky,just dim yellow moonlight.I walk past the light of bright florescent flash signs and the movie posters.Its a long walk to the center but the way back is going to be difficult.I personally never enjoyed walking but this is necessary.Looking as inconspicuous as possible is one of the only ways to avoid getting caught.I’m just another eighteen year old who is on the way to buy his weekly batch of hallucinogens.Today it is my turn to go fetch them.I meet the guy standing at the back alley,slip a few bucks in his hand and start my way back.The excitement is killing me already.

Now don’t start freaking out,its a totally normal thing.They say at my age,its completely okay for people to try out new things like alcohol,drugs etc.Who am I kidding anyways?I’m addicted to trying out new things now.I’m addicted to lysergic acid diethylamide otherwise know as LSD.It all started the night of my seventeenth birthday.It was supposed to be a dinner with my girlfriend of four years but she dumped me because she just”fell out of love with me”.Yes,that’s a thing.Falling out of love.So I called up a few of my friends I had not met in months.We decided that the only way to get over her was alcohol and a few magic pills.It would set everything right.It would make me forget and take me to the place of the ultimate Imagination;the wonderland.Slowly the one time thing turned into a monthly thing and now its a weekly ritual.The nostalgic tribute to that one night Mr.OHnoINeedToGetOverHer finally was set free.

The whole experience is magical indeed but then there are the blues that set in.The struggle you have the next morning after the so-called psychedelic experience.I’m so used to having this altered reality,the place where objects glow like the light-sabers,the slowing down of time,colorful bursts of light when the music is blasted out loud.The overall feeling of euphoria fades away to me finding myself in some dark corner of my mind.My social life is next to zero now.This troubles me from time to time.The fear of finding myself alone has come alive.I face it everyday.I want the addiction to go away but it won’t.Its going to be there with me for a long run.It can’t stop.At times I don’t want it to stop.

This doesn’t make me bad person.Like they say “Its just a phase”,it will fade into nothingness sometime,just like I do when I’m high.

 

 

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Author: messyideals

violent mind

2 thoughts on “High”

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